Category: The Five Mindfulness Trainings

Less Intoxicants Means Less Apologizing

June 3, 2019

Abstinence, Addiction, Buddhism, Renunciation, Right Consumption, Self-care, stopping, The Five Mindfulness Trainings, Thich Nhat Hanh, Uncategorized

Exit Buddha, Photo by Celia

“The bad things, don’t do them.

The good things, try to do them.

Try to purify, subdue your own mind.

That is the teaching of all buddhas.”

~ Thich Nhat Hanh, The Art of Power

“Furthermore, abandoning the use of intoxicants, the disciple of the noble ones abstains from taking intoxicants. In doing so, he gives freedom from danger, freedom from animosity, freedom from oppression to limitless numbers of beings. In giving freedom from danger, freedom from animosity, freedom from oppression to limitless numbers of beings, he gains a share in limitless freedom from danger, freedom from animosity, and freedom from oppression.”

~Abhisanda Sutta: Rewards, AN 8.39

“Monks, these four types of individuals are to be found existing in the world. Which four? The one who practices for his own benefit but not for that of others. The one who practices for the benefit of others but not for his own. The one who practices neither for his own benefit nor for that of others. The one who practices for his own benefit and for that of others…He himself abstains from intoxicants that cause heedlessness and encourages others in undertaking abstinence from intoxicants that cause heedlessness. Such is the individual who practices for his own benefit and for that of others.”

~ Sikkha Sutta: Trainings, AN 4.99

Dear Friends,

Over 2,600 hundred years ago the Buddha gave a set of five practical instructions called the Five Precepts, or Five Mindfulness Trainings for lay people to help eliminate unnecessary suffering in their lives. For some time, I’ve been wanting to write about the fifth precept that calls on us to refrain from “intoxicants that cause heedlessness.” I’ve been hesitant to weigh in because it can sound like an ultimatum and distance people from the practice. But I would like to share my own experience with this training and what I’ve learned putting it into practice.

In the Plum Village tradition, we can formally receive the transmission of the updated Five Mindfulness Trainings. Folks are free to make the commitment to practice one or all five of the trainings. The most common training to be left out is—no surprise—number five which states, “I am determined not to gamble, or to use alcohol, drugs, or any other products which contain toxins, such as certain websites, electronic games, TV programs, films, magazines, books, and conversations.” At first glance it does seem severe and Puritanical—I mean even if we don’t have a problem with intoxicants, with recreational drugs and alcohol, why would we stop using them if we are responsible adults and we are not harming anyone?

Early in my practice, I spoke with an older member of the sangha about his sobriety. He was never an abuser of alcohol or drugs, but he told me that he noticed his motivation to drink. When he used to drink, he gave himself permission for the ease and solitude that he wasn’t able to offer without a glass in his hand. Drinking was the signal that he wanted some rest. This led me to consider how I used alcohol. I had small children and was busy all day long. I looked forward to a glass of wine in the evening to relax and it seemed like a small gift I could give myself after a tiring day. What I noticed was that I was doing the same thing as my friend. My wine glass was a sign that I was done. This was mommy’s time—leave her alone and go to bed. Alcohol created distance between me and my children. Alcohol was what I gave myself instead of time to rest and the permission to stop and take care of myself. A glass of wine meant that I didn’t have to look into my exhaustion, my tiredness, my wanting to have some tranquility. Alcohol meant that I could do it all again the next day the same way and not have to recognize that I was withholding kindness, rest, and peace from myself. Drinking was a way to ignore my body and mind and abdicate responsibility for caring for myself.

Thich Nhat Hanh uses the word, “Interbeing” to describe how we are not separate small selves, but that we are part of a vast interconnected field of cause and effect. He reminds us that we belong to each other and our behavior affects each other. “In modern life, people think that their body belongs to them and they can do anything they want to it. When they make such a determination, the law supports them. This is one of the manifestations of individualism. But, according to the teachings of emptiness, non-self, and interbeing, your body is not yours alone. It also belongs to your ancestors, your parents, future generations, and all other living beings.” As a parent and someone who has seen close up the devastation of addiction, I consider my abstinence as a way to actively demonstrate my care and concern, not just for my own children, but for all of my species.

We live in a society where according to a 2012 Columbia University study, “40 million Americans age 12 and over meet the clinical criteria for addiction involving nicotine, alcohol or other drugs.” This is a greater number of folks than those with heart disease, diabetes or cancer combined. 80 Million more Americans are designated as “risky substance users,” and while not meeting the clinical definition of addiction, they overuse, binge and generally “use tobacco, alcohol and other drugs in ways that threaten public health and safety.” That brings the total of those who are highly involved with drugs and alcohol in the United States to 120 million. The U.S. Census Bureau recorded the population as 328,977, 514 on June 1st, 2019, which means that well over a third of our country is struggling with addictive behavior.

When we follow these trainings, they are a source of protection, Thich Nhat Hanh reminds us. “When we practice not drinking alcohol, we protect ourselves, and we also protect our family and our society. A woman in London told me, ‘I have been drinking two glasses of wine every week for the last twenty years, and it has done me no harm at all. Why should I give it up?’ I said, ‘It’s true that two glasses of wine do not harm you. But are you sure they do not harm your children? You may not have the seed of alcoholism in you, but who knows whether the seed of alcoholism is in your children. If you give up wine, you’ll be doing it not only for yourself but also for your children and for your society.”’ When we model a behavior, we may give someone the strength to stop using. And when we don’t have the first drink, we won’t get to the fourth.

I never formally planned to stop drinking and never said, “this will be my last drink.” I am extremely fortunate that I did not have the added burden of addiction linked to my decision to stop drinking. As I committed to mindfulness, one of the most difficult times was in the company of friends who drank and used alcohol to allow themselves to do what they were longing to…either relaxing, giving permission to have fun, to celebrate and feel connection, or as an opportunity to express what was really bothering them. I used to wait for some bits of wisdom and insight from those who were drinking and each time I would be surprised when they got cloudy and lost any mental acuity. They fit the Buddha’s description of the brahmins and contemplatives who took intoxicants, “Because of these obscurations some brahmans & contemplatives don’t glow, don’t shine, are impure, dusty, dead” (AN 4.50. Upakkilesa Sutta: Obscurations). I needed to be a witness to understand that loosening control leads to the opposite of creativity and clarity and the opposite of mindfulness.

I do know that my ability to be mindful of my feelings and emotions and care for them without using substances has been a great gift to my family. I’ve recognized that sobriety has been immensely supportive for maintain right speech and using words that promote communication and understanding. And for the last 14 years, my kids have witnessed a reasonably happy person, capable of relaxing and caring for myself and others without the use of alcohol and drugs.

Applying our own compassionate mindfulness to our habits enables us to see what we are doing…and most importantly, what is calling out for my care? What do I really want in this moment and more importantly, how am I caring for my consciousness with this action? Can I meet myself honestly in this moment and be enough just as I am? Thich Nhat Hanh recommends if we want to stop a behavior, don’t just stop. Keep doing it—but with awareness. Know when you are smoking. Know when you are drinking…and do it mindfully. If we accept that the whole of our life is our practice, there is no area that is exempt from our awareness and care.

May we all trust our light,

Celia

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Nourishing our Hearts, Bodies, and Mind

October 9, 2017

Advice, Happiness, Meditation, Mindfulness, Right Consumption, The Five Mindfulness Trainings, Thich Nhat Hanh, Uncategorized

Draft Horse, Islay Scotland. Photo by Barbara Richardson

“We have to look deeply to see how we grow our food, so we can eat in ways that preserve our collective well-being, minimize our suffering and the suffering of other species, and allow the earth to continue to be a source of life for all of us. If, while we eat, we destroy living beings or the environment, we are eating the flesh of our own sons and daughters. We need to look deeply together and discuss how to eat, what to eat, and what to resist.”

~Thich Nhat Hanh, The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching

“Then he said, ‘Beware! Guard against every kind of greed. Life is not measured by how much you own.’”

~Luke 12:15

“the purpose of a rose is to be a rose. Your purpose is to be yourself. You don’t have to run anywhere to become someone else. You are wonderful just as you are.”

~ Thich Nhat Hanh, The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching

“The world has enough to satisfy every man’s needs, but not for every man’s greed”

~Mahatma Gandhi

Dear Friends,

This week we are looking at the fifth mindfulness training. The five trainings are the Buddhist vision of a global ethic. The original five precepts were guideline the Buddha gave lay followers over 2,500 years ago. These guides are protections that create conditions for a happy life.

Nourishment and Healing

Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful consumption, I am committed to cultivating good health, both physical and mental, for myself, my family, and my society by practicing mindful eating, drinking, and consuming. I will practice looking deeply into how I consume the Four Kinds of Nutriments, namely edible foods, sense impressions, volition, and consciousness. I am determined not to gamble, or to use alcohol, drugs, or any other products which contain toxins, such as certain websites, electronic games, TV programs, films, magazines, books, and conversations. I will practice coming back to the present moment to be in touch with the refreshing, healing and nourishing elements in me and around me, not letting regrets and sorrow drag me back into the past nor letting anxieties, fear, or craving pull me out of the present moment. I am determined not to try to cover up loneliness, anxiety, or other suffering by losing myself in consumption. I will contemplate interbeing and consume in a way that preserves peace, joy, and well-being in my body and consciousness, and in the collective body and consciousness of my family, my society and the earth.

The fifth training invites us to consider our relationship with our consumption and the desires that fuel it. There is a tendency to keep very busy to ward off unwanted feelings that creep in when there is quiet, or we are left alone with ourselves. We may exercise, shop, eat, watch TV, organize, work, engage in a myriad of activities that fill our days and lives and keep our sadness, loss or loneliness away. Many people use food to take themselves out of this moment. Food can alter moods and is a great distraction, but it is also a problem when we eat because we want this moment to be different than it is. We may injure our health, binge, and purge, carry excess weight, or compulsively exercise and diet. All these behaviors stem from what Thây calls, not being able to handle our suffering. We look for ways to escape from our pain.

Thây tells us when we have a craving, be it for alcohol, cigarettes, food, drugs, anything that comes from a desire for escape, try to wait ten minutes before indulging in the craving. In ten minutes a lot can change. We may find that we aren’t dying for the chocolate cake, or the desire for a drink is replaced by tiredness, or we realize that asking that stranger for their phone number is really deadly to our marriage vows. Observing craving can help us see that craving is like anything else, it comes and it goes. It is also categorized as a hindrance to our spiritual progress. Craving keeps us stuck repeating behaviors we know aren’t good for us or takes us out of the present moment.

When we stop and look deeply at what is driving our behavior and our consumption we have the opportunity to make wiser choices. There is a saying about indulging in our cravings, “Just because the dinner bell rings, doesn’t mean I have to answer it.” Craving is like any neurological phenomena, the more we give in and practice responding to the craving, the stronger that neural connectivity becomes. Craving cannot be satisfied by giving in to the behavior. Repeated indulgence only makes it stronger. It requires a lot of compassion and small steps to change our ingrained habits.

A New York Times article about binge eating highlights the practice of slow, mindful eating at Blue Cliff Monastery in New York. When we slow down, turn off the TV, don’t eat in front of the computer, we can give our attention to what we are doing. As we eat, we are invited to notice the texture, the smell, the color of this food. We can consider where this food came from, who grew it, how did it get on my plate? When we eat mindfully and chew thoroughly, we slow down and feel satisfied with eating less. When we attend to ourselves the body notices and is thankful. Mindful eating is a wonderful way to connect with the healing and generous world we live it. Our food can be a gift to the body, instead of a quick bite eaten on the run.

We can stop and feel the warmth of the water in our teacup, smell the aroma of the tea. Consider the time it took for these leaves to grow to maturity, the hands that harvested and packaged them, The journey of this tea to my store. The connection to our livelihood and the money earned that allowed the purchase. The body of mine that is receiving the taste, scent, and warmth of this tea and all the layered and far-reaching connections that made this simple cup of tea possible.

This week I invite you to eat a meal mindfully or drink a cup of tea with great care. Silently considering each mouthful as it nourishes our body. Consuming nutrients and information with reverence for the earth and for all life forms invites us to slow down and treat ourselves the way we would a cherished guest. Nourishing the body and the mind with beautiful food and careful curation of media input, we give ourselves the most valuable gift, the time to savor and enjoy our lives.

May we all trust our light,

Celia

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The Weight of Our Words

October 2, 2017

Advice, Mindfulness, Relationship, Right speech, The Five Mindfulness Trainings, Thich Nhat Hanh, Uncategorized

Leaves on the Path Photo by me

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

~ Mark Twain

“The truth must be presented in ways that others can accept. Words that damage or destroy are not Right Speech. Before you speak, understand the person you are speaking to. Consider each word carefully before you say anything, so that your speech is “Right” in both form and content.”

~ Thich Nhat Hanh

“You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.”

~ Siddhartha Gotama

“Speak when you are angry—and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.”

~Laurence J. Peter

Dear Friends,

I hope you are enjoying this new month and are listening to what your mind and body are calling for. This week I want to look at the fourth of The Five Mindfulness Trainings, Loving Speech and Deep Listening. The Five Mindfulness Trainings are a modern adaptation of the Buddha’s ethical guidelines given over 2,500 years ago:

Loving Speech and Deep Listening

Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful speech and the inability to listen to others, I am committed to cultivating loving speech and compassionate listening in order to relieve suffering and to promote reconciliation and peace in myself and among other people, ethnic and religious groups, and nations. Knowing that words can create happiness or suffering, I am committed to speaking truthfully using words that inspire confidence, joy, and hope. When anger is manifesting in me, I am determined not to speak. I will practice mindful breathing and walking in order to recognize and to look deeply into my anger. I know that the roots of anger can be found in my wrong perceptions and lack of understanding of the suffering in myself and in the other person. I will speak and listen in a way that can help myself and the other person to transform suffering and see the way out of difficult situations. I am determined not to spread news that I do not know to be certain and not to utter words that can cause division or discord. I will practice Right Diligence to nourish my capacity for understanding, love, joy, and inclusiveness, and gradually transform anger, violence, and fear that lie deep in my consciousness.

For many people, this is the most difficult training since to live in the world involves communicating. Every day we speak to people. We communicate in all of our relationships, personal and professional. We talk to strangers, our pets, and we often overlook how we speak to ourselves. Every day we experience a gamut of quickly changing sensations and emotions. A conversation may start off easily and happy, then quickly turn irritating and lead to bitterness. We may feel hurt and want to hurt the other person back, lashing out with accusations, cutting sarcasm, or punishing with our silence.

The fourth training is closely tied with handling our emotions, specifically our anger. If we do not know how to deal our anger we will run the risk of transmitting shame, fear, and violence. We also plant the seeds of this continued rage in the other person. I can speak to this and the transformation that occurred in my life using the fourth mindfulness training. I grew up in a family that had generational rage. As a child, I didn’t know that rage was abuse. I didn’t know about mirror neurons, part of the autonomic nervous system, that allow humans and high order animals to absorb behaviors. Witnessing a repeated activity, the neural patterns in the brain light up in the sequence of the observed action. This is the way babies learn. When we are raged at, there is intense shame, but the child who hides and fears also learns. We are trained to recreate our experience.

The first time I went to Sangha, we read the Five Mindfulness Trainings. The line that caught me was, “When anger is manifesting in me, I am determined not to speak. I will practice mindful breathing and walking in order to recognize and to look deeply into my anger.” That sentence could have been written in Vietnamese. I had no idea what that meant, nor had I ever experience anyone doing that. I only knew rage and silence. Caring for my anger sounded impossible. I mean, who does that? What did that even look like?

After several years of practice, I recognized that the rage I witnessed as a child was manifesting in me and through me. I was actively transmitting this rage to my children, exactly the way it was transmitted to me. I realized that I did not want to pass this family inheritance on. I wanted it to end with me.

I got my opportunity to put this into practice quickly enough. My kids made some mess and left it. It was the end of a long day and I was tired. I felt the familiar rise in me welling up, my rage coming to the surface. I couldn’t be near this mess and keep it together. Without a word, I walked out the door into darkness. Rain was falling. Every cell in my body was screaming for release. I took a step and felt my foot on the ground. I breathed. The rain hit my cheeks like someone else’s tears. I took another step. I couldn’t hold this feeling. It was too big. I couldn’t do this. I felt like I was tied to a chair, restrained. I wanted that rage so badly. It was a hunger in my body, the need to discharge this burden.

I didn’t know about neuro-receptor sites and how repeated behavior creates chemical addiction in the body. I didn’t know that anger and rage are rewarded with dopamine, the same way cocaine or alcohol reward the addict. I didn’t know that not being able to stop a behavior is called addiction. “Take a step. Breathe” I said. “Just this one. Just this one.” I don’t know for how long I walked and breathed. It felt like a lifetime. When my rage stopped, I was outside in the cool air, breathing, feeling a new feeling—sadness. No one saw me, including myself. But I was standing there, ready and willing to listen and care for these feelings I had ignored for so long. The next time I broke the chain of rage was just as hard, but I lived through the first time, so I knew I could do it. The third time was easier. Each time I remember that I cannot speak when I am in the grip of this fury. There’s too much at stake.

This is what mindfulness does for me. It enables me to notice my feelings, the creeping irritation, the sadness, loneliness, the overwhelm. It lets me hold the hand of the little one who did not get shielded, who faced the rage alone. When she is scared, I can help her. We help each other. I know that the rage is not my fault—nor the fault of my ancestors. Now I am aware of sensations in my body. I stop. I hear the cry of need in me before it escapes as pain for those around me. My rage is cooled enough to see the loneliness and helplessness beneath it from long ago.

Dharma teacher Michael Grady once said, “when I don’t blaze away in anger, I don’t have as much apologizing to do.” I have found this to be true 100% of the time. When we learn to care for our emotions, we can be present for ourselves and learn to take care of others through our communication. We become aware of how important our words are. They are our legacy and our speech also creates our future. During this week I invite you to look at your communication, at the amount of kindness and understanding that are in your words, especially the silent words we speak to ourselves. Do we say things to ourselves we would never say out loud to anyone else? Do we treat ourselves with as much respect and care, as we do our closest friend? I hope the answer can be—yes! Loving speech is a heart practice, opening to listen to what we are needing—maybe it’s a break, some comfort, or just to hear we care about our pain. Thich Nhat Hanh says, “Darling, I am here for you.” Please use your gift of speech carefully, especially with our children. The future is at stake.

May we all trust our light,

Celia

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Loving Begins With Me

September 25, 2017

joy, The Five Mindfulness Trainings, Uncategorized

“Every child is born in the garden of humanity as a flower. Each flower differs from every other flower. There are many messages in our society that tell us, even when we’re young people, that there’s something wrong with us and that if we just buy the right product, or look a certain way, or have the right partner, that will fix it. As grown-ups, we can remind young people that they’re already beautiful as they are; they don’t have to be someone else.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

“When we feed and support our own happiness, we are nourishing our ability to love. That’s why to love means to learn the art of nourishing our happiness.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

“Follow the three R’s: – Respect for self. – Respect for others. – Responsibility for all your actions.” H.H. The Dalai Lama

Dear Friends,

I hope you are well and enjoying what your life is offering you. This week We are continuing to look at The Five Mindfulness Trainings, focusing on the third,

True Love.

Aware of the suffering caused by sexual misconduct, I am committed to cultivating responsibility and learning ways to protect the safety and integrity of individuals, couples, families, and society. Knowing that sexual desire is not love, and that sexual activity motivated by craving always harms myself as well as others, I am determined not to engage in sexual relations without true love and a deep, long-term commitment made known to my family and friends. I will do everything in my power to protect children from sexual abuse and to prevent couples and families from being broken by sexual misconduct. Seeing that body and mind are one, I am committed to learning appropriate ways to take care of my sexual energy and cultivating loving kindness, compassion, joy and inclusiveness – which are the four basic elements of true love – for my greater happiness and the greater happiness of others. Practicing true love, we know that we will continue beautifully into the future.

This training is especially important for young people. The messages and images we see in the media and in entertainment depict couples in sexual situations as the natural progression of relationship. While sexual relationships are a healthy and sacred part of a committed relationship, what we don’t see much in the media, or on screens, is the idea that sexual relationships are significant. They mean something. In the media and in real life, overtly sexual messages, clothing, and behavior means popularity and makes one worthy of desire. For young people, this includes “hooking up,” before dating. This is a euphemism for meeting to have sex before getting to know the other person. Sex is not tied to a relationship, or to any feelings other than desire. Modern media tells us that sex does not involve any emotion other than lust.

Thich Nhat Hanh writes, “Our bodies have areas that we do not want anyone to touch or approach unless he or she is the one we respect, trust, and love the most. When we are approached casually or carelessly, with an attitude that is less than tender, we feel insulted in our body and soul. Someone who approaches us with respect, tenderness, and utmost care is offering us deep communication, deep communion. It is only in that case that we will not feel hurt, misused, or abused, even a little. This cannot be attained unless there is true love and commitment. Casual sex cannot be described as love. Love is deep, beautiful, and whole.” As sensitive and complex beings, we recognize that bodies and minds are not separate entities. What we do with our bodies affects our minds and what we do with our minds affects our bodies.

When we are involved with another person sexually, this is the most vulnerable and intimate act two people can share. Sex without love and care does damage to our hearts that only want to be loved and valued. We do not treat our bodies with tenderness when we expose ourselves to empty sex. We discount our worth and throw away our value to try to satisfy loneliness, desire, or novelty. But our body and our mind know when we are loved and considered and when we are not. They work together. Psychology has discovered that trauma, both mental and physical, resides in the body. What happens to our bodies has consequence for our entire lives. We learn that sex, no matter what we call it is not casual. It is significant. Learning to cultivate our authentic presence, to listen to ourselves is the first step in being able to offer our true presence to another. We need to know that we are capable of caring for our own joy and sadness before we have the capacity to care and love for anyone else. True love begins with ourselves.

This week I invite you to look non-judgmentally at the example of True Love you are living. What ways do you cultivate loving kindness, compassion, joy, and inclusiveness? How do you offer the gift of true presence and communication to your beloved, to yourself? Take twenty minutes with a cup of tea to sit and listen to what is in your heart and your mind. Give yourself the gift of your own love and your most precious gift, your time.

May we all trust our light,

Celia

Calligraphy by Thich Nhat Hanh

Reference:

Nhat Hanh, T., 1993, For a future to be possible: Commentaries on the five wonderful mindfulness trainings. Berkeley, CA: Parallax Press.

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Happiness, Yours, Mine, Ours

September 18, 2017

Dharma, Generosity, Happiness, Mindfulness, The Five Mindfulness Trainings, Thich Nhat Hanh, Uncategorized

“Generosity brings happiness at every stage of its expression. We experience joy in forming the intention to be generous. We experience joy in the actual act of giving something. And we experience joy in remembering the fact that we have given.”

~Gautama Buddha

“Generosity is the most natural outward expression of an inner attitude of compassion and loving-kindness.”

~Dalai Lama XIV

“Generosity is an activity that loosens us up. By offering whatever we can – a dollar, a flower, a word of encouragement – we are training in letting go.”

~Pema Chodron

Dear Friends,

I hope you are all safe and comfortable after the week of hurricanes and devastation. This past week highlighted our second Mindfulness Training, True happiness. The complete list of The Five Mindfulness Trainings can be Found at https://plumvillage.org/mindfulness-practice/the-5-mindfulness-trainings/

The Second Mindfulness Training: True Happiness

Aware of the suffering caused by exploitation, social injustice, stealing, and oppression, I am committed to practicing generosity in my thinking, speaking, and acting. I am determined not to steal and not to possess anything that should belong to others; and I will share my time, energy, and material resources with those who are in need. I will practice looking deeply to see that the happiness and suffering of others are not separate from my own happiness and suffering; that true happiness is not possible without understanding and compassion; and that running after wealth, fame, power and sensual pleasures can bring much suffering and despair. I am aware that happiness depends on my mental attitude and not on external conditions, and that I can live happily in the present moment simply by remembering that I already have more than enough conditions to be happy. I am committed to practicing Right Livelihood so that I can help reduce the suffering of living beings on Earth and reverse the process of global warming.

This month saw communities and individuals practicing generosity, rescuing people from flooding, and danger, sharing food, resources, and housing. We also heard of acts that let us know the fires of greed, anger, and delusion are still burning in some. For me, the acts of kindness and generosity, greatly outweigh the negatives.

Witness people in distress stimulates an innate desire to free others from suffering, for their own happiness and our happiness as well. The act of true generosity the Buddha describes above has its roots in the intention of giving resulting from compassion, the desire—and action, that helps another get free from suffering.

As we read in the Second Mindfulness Training, the impulse to share our time, energy, and material resources, springs from joy, not from obligation or duty. When we look at a situation and think, “How can I help? What can I do to make our lives better?” We acknowledge that we are part of the situation and that the experience of suffering and happiness is collective. Then we can offer our services and resources without fear.

We know that happiness and unhappiness do not stay in individual boxes. Happiness and suffering spill beyond our human boundaries. Happiness and suffering spread through families, neighborhoods, and around the globe. We can’t build a wall around our happiness to keep it separate. That just isn’t how life works. If we look at a situation and think, “I don’t want this problem to ruin my good time,” or, “How long will this take me away from my projects, my life?” We have a very different attitude, one of scarcity and separation. Then the gift of giving is not happy in the intention, in the act, and we feel resentful at the remembrance of giving. Giving with joy doesn’t see the act of giving as a transfer of energy, property or time, giving with joy believes that our actions benefit us as well. When we act from compassion we have faith that the happiness we help create is our rightful inheritance as citizens of this planet. Our happiness is a shared concern.

Thich Nhat Hanh speaks about offering our time as a precious gift of generosity. Through deep listening and our whole-hearted attention, we have the ability to lift the despair and isolation of another.

“The Second Precept is a deep practice. We speak of time, energy, and material resources, but time is not only for energy and material resources. Time is for being with others — being with a dying person or with someone who is suffering. Being really present for even five minutes can be a very important gift. Time is not just to make money. It is to produce the gift of Dharma and the gift of non-fear” (Nhat Hanh, 1993).

Living is a full-time job and our lives can feel too crammed full of obligations to have the freedom to give this precious and rare gift. This week as we look further into the Second Training, please consider your time as a gift of great value. Who and what do you give this valuable gift to? Do you try to fill up moments with business so there is no opportunity to listen to your body and mind? Can you give the gift of your time this week, to listen to someone in need—your own self, or another? Making a list of all our conditions of happiness can help us recognize that we do possess abundance often overlooked. Seeing our own goodness and our gifts can bring ease, knowing we have enough peace and stability to offer it to others.

May we all trust our light,

Celia

Resources:

Nhat Hanh, T., 1993, For a future to be possible: Commentaries on the five wonderful precepts. Berkeley, CA: Parallax.

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