“Cleared of the underbrush

but obsessed with the forest,

set free from the forest,

right back to the forest he runs.

Come, see the person set free

who runs right back to the same old chains!”

~Tanhavagga: Craving (Dhp XXIV, V. 344), Thanissaro Bhikkhu, trans.

“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything – anger, anxiety, or possessions – we cannot be free.”

~Thich Nhat Hanh, The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberation

“We are always in transition. If you can just relax with that, you’ll have no problem.” 

 ~ Chogyam Trungpa

 

Dear friends,

The Buddha taught that the root of suffering was craving, tanha. He also taught that the human experience embodies a restless sense of wanting, craving for sense pleasures—the good life of luxury, longing to become something or to escape from being something unwanted. These three types of wanting, keep us spinning, moving towards and away from. We imagine if we got the right combination—keep to a gluten-free and raw diet, work out, meditate, wear organic fibers, stop watching Judge Judy, find a LEED-certified condo in a pedestrian friendly area, get the hypo-allergenic dog, put in the extra time to really learn the new software and get noticed at work, we would discover the life partner who was actually our long-lost friend from fifth grade—waiting for us this whole time, and then—we  could be happy.

The Buddha knew about worldly happiness. He was raised as a privileged and sheltered child, groomed to take over his father’s leadership position. He had wealth, status, all types of things, a beautiful and loving wife and new baby… and yet—he wasn’t happy. So, he left in search of a more durable happiness than the one we find when the worldly conditions align, and we have a moment of ease. The Buddha went on a long and arduous search, nearly died and found a different type of happiness which did not rely on the external conditions of happiness being met.

Happiness is our birthright and being Buddhist does not mean we aren’t allowed to be happy, but our regular worldly happiness falls short and doesn’t deliver what we are really longing for. There is a more refined and wiser sort of happiness that comes from understanding that all the chasing and arranging we do—the looking for happiness in relationships, appreciation, wanting to be treated a certain way—will not make us happy.

We have volition or cetana, this is the intention that leads us to action. Cetana can be wholesome or unwholesome. If we act against injustice and the greed that is killing our support system, the Earth, we are creating wholesome and beneficial karma through this intention. But if we rage, treat others harshly and are violent, even this wholesome intention gets muddied and leads us to a bad destination. And if we start obsession about an intention, even a beneficial one, we can be caught in craving and pulled into suffering.

Sometimes we can’t see the demarcation line between acting on an intention and craving. How do we know if we are clinging and craving or merely wanting to do a good job and feel this project is important? A simple litmus test is to ask, Do I think this will make me happy? When I move to a new city, begin a new relationship, or join a protest, if I believe that this thing, this person, this job, the book being published, having children, or being in a relationship will lead me to an abiding sense of happiness, I am letting myself in for suffering.

The Buddha teaches us that when we get fixated on things, we create the same conditions for suffering we try to escape, but when we are free from repetitive and obsessive thinking we can act and be free. We don’t get caught in labeling ourselves and creating new and different boxes of identity for ourselves:

But when one doesn’t intend, arrange, or obsess [about anything], there is no support for the stationing of consciousness. There being no support, there is no landing of consciousness. When that consciousness doesn’t land & grow, there is no production of renewed becoming in the future. When there is no production of renewed becoming in the future, there is no future birth, aging & death, sorrow, lamentation, pain, distress, or despair. Such is the cessation of this entire mass of suffering & stress. (Thanissaro, trans., SN 12.38, Cetana Sutta)

This does not mean we should not do things in the world. Knowing that we have a limited time on this planet, we can ask, Is this project or activity, a good use of my time? Grounding ourselves in the wisdom of understanding impermanence, suffering and the end of suffering, we can ask, Is this enough for me, right now? When we ask if something is enough, we stop considering if we fit the mold of the perfect employee—if we are good enough for this individual, or this relationship and instead ask, if this person, conversation, organization, meets the criteria of our intention to live an awakened life. Sometimes the answer is no. This job, this corporate structure, this friendship, does not align with my values and does not support my true happiness.

True happiness is based on recognizing the constant shifting of our roles and conditions of the world. It is based on living with integrity and showing up with an open-hearted intention for kindness and compassion for ourselves and others. Our happiness is made from our efforts to be the peace, compassion, and love, we are seeking from the outside world. Sometimes, my entire practice consists of going through a day, attempting to keep my heart open to everyone I come in contact with—not closing off in defense and judgment—and sometimes I can just make it through a whole day. When I do this, I dwell in the bliss of blamelessness and living in accord with the Dharma. The Buddha is recorded in the Dhammapada as saying, “Your own self is your own mainstay. Your own self is your own guide. Therefore, you should watch over yourself —as a trader, a fine steed” (Dhp XXV, V 380). We are our finest treasures.

And this is where we can touch real happiness, in our own willingness to return to our true home—ourselves. Our own ability to still the mind, our own calm abiding in the face of change, this is the safe home we have been longing for. This is what the Buddha discovered through years of self-mortification and physical hardship. He created a refuge in his own heart and mind. He stopped running. He stopped doing and found himself with himself. When we stop, we can recognize ourselves as the soulmate who has been with us our whole lives—we are right here, waiting for ourselves to show up.

May we all trust our light,

Celia